She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
