Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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