Soap is not a condiment
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
