I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
