you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
