You really coming over, don't trick.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize