i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
