her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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