the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
