just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
