he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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