The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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