The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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