Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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