On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
