I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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