Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
