I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
