Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
