I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
