oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
