So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
