he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
not ubering you a puppy
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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