"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
