Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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