also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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