I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
