It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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