this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
