There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
