She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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