Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
