so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
