dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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