We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
