shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize