i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
