im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
