But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
