Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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