her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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