he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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