sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
