So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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