I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
