I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
