he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
