i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
