I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
