there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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