Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
