i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
