dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
