is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
