you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
