doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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