I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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