just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
