i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
