Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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