She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How external is "for external use only"?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
