yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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