you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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