My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
