I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
