Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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