You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
