Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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