youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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