You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
